Stoopid Sale: Antiques, Appliances, Scones.

by Melea on June 2, 2010

Jesus playing basketball.

I wish I were doing other things: like finishing my post on cancer and social media–EDGY–or the history of the emoticon, or writing the follow-up story to Dollar Bill Business Cards. Instead I’m planning my stoopid sale. And my classes (in the Empire State Building! yay!).

While I might prefer to simply defenestrate my excess belongings, throwing random straight-to-garage-sale stuff out the window of a ground-floor apartment lacks the verve I crave. So, instead, I’m turning this stoop sale into a fun, party-on-the-sidewalk. I’m even looking into getting a cartoonist. And a face painter.  So, below are the details. It would be fabulous if you could come. And if the details don’t grab you, this might: THERE WILL BE HOMEMADE SCONES.

When: Saturday, June 5. 10AM-ish. Don’t come early. Or we’ll turn the hose on you.

Where: Brooklyn. Email stoopidsale <at> gmail (dot) com for details.

THE STUFF

ANTIQUES
Mid-Century Lane Cedar Chest with lock and key. Take that, moths.
Blue Heaven Dishes & Tea Set. Rare (except on Ebay).

AIR CONDITIONERS (2)
A/C #1: GE 5150 BTUs works great. Doesn’t fit in our window, but it will fit in yours.
A/C #2: Frigidaire 6000 BTUs also works great. Also doesn’t fit in our window. Will fit in yours.
Come early to get the one with the remote control so you can adjust your A/C from a PRONE POSITION.

DESIGNER CLOTHES AND SHOES

  • Armani
  • Prada
  • Farragamo
  • Neiman Marcus
  • Prized Vinyl Jacket Collection: JC Penney & more.

SECURITY
Neighbors peeping in? Sounds like you need our brand new MINI BLINDS. (still in the box).

TOOLS
Need help hanging the blinds? How about this Black & Decker electric DRILL. 120 v. with stylish case. Includes warranty and instruction manual. One month old. We couldn’t figure out how to use it.

GEN-EX SWAG

  • Apple iPhone 8g. Black (crack: small).
  • Wireless Apple Keyboard
  • Hewlett Packard Printer (formerly known as printer-scanner-copier).
  • Northern Exposure Complete DVD Box Set
  • Six Feet Under Complete DVD Box Set
  • Books (made of paper).

STRAIGHT-TO-STOOP-ID-SALE
Indoor Bike Trainer (these seem like such a good idea).

FROM THE SWEDISH COLLECTION

  • All kinds of Ikea shelving STILL FLAT PACKED. Never opened.
  • Grundtal Paper Towel Holder. I am disgruntaled. See TOOLS: drill.
  • This charming favorite.
  • The Fado lamp. Really IKEA? Fade-o? It’s a light. (It’s still in the box!).

LAMP
Beautiful floor lamp with elegant string design and only a tiny crack that doesn’t remotely impact its function or fashion. It’s from Crate & Barrel. It debuts in EVERY catalog. It will seem familiar; you’ve seen it.

MICROWAVE
Westpointe (e included). It’s so nice; it will pop your corn.

RANDOM BULLSHIT

  • Ergonomic Kneeling Chair
  • Pine Wood CD Tower from Gothic Cabinet Craft (extra tall)
  • Leather Briefcase (from my early post-college aspirations).
  • Putumayo-esque baubles.
  • Art made by friends, exes.

Wondering why we have so much stuff still in original packaging? We are too. It’s a stoop sale; not therapy.

Email for address: stoopidsale <at> gmail (dot) com.

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